There is a troubling trend I have noticed recently: lots of charities are being real dicks and making you do stuff in the name of philanthropy. Unpleasant
stuff, frankly. Like walking. Or worse yet, jogging. Or hanging drywall. Or giving blood. Or playing 18 holes with some drunk hedge-fund manager who yells at you for missing a putt. That kind of nonsense.
To hell with all that. I like my altruism like I like my NCAA Tourney: full of excitement and not-exercising and leaving a trail of broken losers in my team’s wake, WIN OR GO HOME, BITCHES.
Welcome to Brackets for Good
, a truly wonderful, Indy-based charity that knows you’re a lazy asshole who very much likes the fun & excitement of the NCAA Tournament format. That is not their official slogan, of course, although it should be. No, theirs is “It’s Competitive Giving. Everybody
wins” and that works much, much better. Because it’s true.
The gist of it is this: 64 local charities line up and play for your love. And by “love,” I mean “dollars.” When that round's clock hits zero, the team with the most money advances. The losing team gets thrown down the Great Pit of Carkoon to be digested for 10,000 years. :((
(That may not be true. I am still hazy on the details.)
The whole operation is in its fourth year, co-founded by local residents Matt McIntyre and Matt Duncan, now being run in two cities (the other being Louisville). It is scheduled to include five
cities next year. It has raised over $500,000 for charitable organizations during its existence — an existence that I was completely, criminally unaware of until today. And as someone with a decent, quasi-involved knowledge of Indianapolis sports in general, that is entirely unacceptable. These do-gooding entrepreneurs and their crusade deserve better. NUVO will give it to them, by God, because we are not monsters. And also because it is way better than jogging.
Thus concludes Pt. 1 (of 773) of the Brackets for Good Series. Stay tuned.