Savage Love: Dirty sex

Eco-friendly isn't vagina friendly


DEAR READERS: I’m on vacation for the next three weeks—but you won’t be reading old columns while I’m away. You’ll be getting a new column every week, all of them written by Dan Savage, none of them written by me.

Dan Savage is a sports writer and the assistant director of digital content for, and he will be answering your questions this week. Dan has covered six NBA finals and 10 NBA All-Star Games; he’s appeared on CBS, ESPN, NBA TV, and First Take; and his writing has been published at,,, and This is Dan’s first time giving sex-and-relationship advice.

“Other sports writers often tell me they enjoyed reading my latest column,” Dan Savage told me in an e-mail, “but when they show me the article, it’s one of your sex-advice columns. The joke is going to be on them this time around when it’s actually my advice!”


I’ve been hooking up with a good friend for about a year. We’re both single, and he lives in another state but comes to town for work every month or two, and we usually hang out and have really great sex when he’s here.

One of the things I’ve always admired about him is his eco-conscious lifestyle … which includes showering only about once a week to save water. His BO is pretty inoffensive (it’s actually a nice scent), but I find that most times we hook up, I get a raging UTI within a day or two. It’s happened enough times that I’m wondering if his infrequent washing could be allowing bacteria to live on his junk, causing my infections.

Is that possible? Do I need to have a talk with him about washing more frequently/thoroughly?

Hurts To Pee

The simple answer is yes, HTP. It’s great to have an eco-conscious lifestyle, but not at the expense of your urinary tract. If he cares about you as much as he does about the environment, then with a quick chat, he’ll probably focus a little more on his personal hygiene. Especially if you explain to him that the overuse of antibiotics contributes to creating antibiotic-resistant bacteria, which can cause issues for the entire planet.

Follow Dan Savage, assistant director of digital content for, on Twitter @Dan_Savage.

On the Lovecast, Dan chats with twin, queer, heartthrob pop stars Tegan and Sara:

@fakedansavage on Twitter


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