Savage Love: Your relationship is dead

And it's time to move on


I write you from Italy, where I follow you through Internazionale. I am a guy in his 30s sexually paralyzed with his girlfriend. We are together four years, and during the last year sex has gradually faded away, leaving me alone with my skillful hand (left one).

The sexual paralysis is beginning to affect our behaviors. We don’t accept each other anymore. We are starting to mutually ignore. Verbal communication is poor. However, we are exceptional friends. I am good-looking, sociable, fit,and with plenty of semen. Girls are quite interested, but I don’t want to cheat. I don’t believe in monogamy, but my girlfriend could never tolerate betrayal. What the fuck to do?
Literally Outta Order Penis

Sometimes a relationship dies but we insist on propping the body up in a corner, LOOP, and pretending it’s still alive. We do this because even if the relationship is dead, our partner isn’t. And we can’t declare the thing dead — we can’t break the fuck up already — without hurting someone we used to have romantic feelings for and may still very much like as a person. So we tiptoe around the decomposing corpse until the stench can’t be ignored any longer.

This relationship is dead, LOOP: You no longer accept each other, you ignore each other, and the sex dried up a year ago. On top of all that, LOOP, you don’t believe in monogamy and she can’t tolerate betrayals. Even if your relationship weren’t dead — and if it isn’t dead, LOOP, it’s so close you need to slap a Do Not Resuscitate order on its chart — you two aren’t a match. End the relationship, do your best to salvage the exceptional friendship, and stop letting all that semen go to waste.
@fakedansavage on Twitter

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