Savage Love: Sexual exclusivity isn't for everyone

Sometimes you just want a dick


English is not my mother tongue. Bear with me. I’m bisexual, age 26 — I always knew I was, but like many bi girls I ended up with guys. I had a long, serious relationship with a man when I was young and only started exploring my sexuality after I found the guts to leave him.

Then I fell in love with a girl. She’s a lesbian, and after a long and hard-fought chase, I finally got her. It’s been two months, I came out to my parents (whom I live with, adults living at home is acceptable in my culture, don’t judge), and they did not exactly welcome the news.

But all would seem to be going well: I love a girl, she loves me, my parents let us be. Problem is, I want cock. I want a man to grab me and have sex with me. I’ve had the chance to do it and didn’t, because I wanted to respect the exclusivity of my relationship. My girlfriend knows about my doubts but says they are part of “questioning my non-heterosexuality.”

I don’t want to leave her, because she’s my princess and my goddess, and I want to adore her for eternity. But I worry about bad judgment and impulses. Where do I go from here?
Wanting A Dick

Those aren’t doubts, WAD. They’re desires. You know what you want: You want your girlfriend, you want cock, you want a man to grab you, and you want to continue questioning — and shaping and defining — your non-heterosexuality. The problem, WAD, isn’t that you don’t know what you want, it’s that you don’t know how to fuse all these wants into a coherent identity. (Possible answer: “bisexual, lesbo-amorous, likely non-monogamous.”)

There are plenty of options you and your girlfriend can explore — together or separately. Get a fake cock and use it together. If that doesn’t slake your hunger for cock, maybe your girlfriend would be up for a threesome. If she’s not DTFAGWY (down to fuck a guy with you), discuss whether an open relationship is a possibility down the road.

That said, WAD, you and the Princess Goddess you worked so hard to land have only been together two months. If you’re wrecked over your need for cock at this early stage — if you’re not able to focus on her alone at eight weeks — maybe sexual exclusivity isn’t the right choice for you.
@fakedansavage on Twitter

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