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Bush Indy visit a boon to local economy

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Local business owners, regardless of politics or ideology, are expected to reap economic benefits from Bush’s visit to Indianapolis this evening, Thursday, April 15. Bush is coming to Indianapolis at the behest of the Life Centers Celebration of Life to be their featured speaker at Conseco Fieldhouse.

While the visit won’t approach the numbers associated with the recent Final Four, the Bush appearance is expected to increase the coffers of local businesses, beyond the usual restaurants and hotels.

Hal Deckard, owner of cleaning business Deckard Bleach Bums, is expected to employ his crew in multiple shifts over the next few days, as the Indianapolis Airport, its tarmac and Conseco Fieldhouse will require what Deckard calls “a good old fashioned scrubbin’” after Bush’s visit.

Deckard, whose cleaning solvents repertoire extends well beyond bleach, says his company specializes in remediation of all sorts of toxic events, and that the Bush visit “will not nearly be as bad as that dang fertilizer pit breach we had to deal with last year.”

Nevertheless, Deckard expects to use two truck tankers of cleansers to “get the job done.”

In the same vein, Feng Shui R Us owner Beatrice Bagua believes this will be her biggest contract ever, as the city of Indianapolis has hired her to “smudge” the landscape after Bush's departure.

Bagua has been planning for weeks how to most effectively “cleanse the space,” as she puts it, and arrived at an ingenious solution. In her words: “We teamed up with the city of Indianapolis to utilize a couple helicopters. We’ve gathered giant wads of sage that will be set afire whilst on the ground, then alofted into the skies.”

Next, Bagua says, the helicopters will fly in a “ley line pattern, not quite zig-zag, but more zag-zig, to account for and neutralize the negative energies created by the intrusion of this dark matter.”

The burning sage is expected to result in a Knozone Action Day tomorrow.

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