It's all because I want to bring you the most acccccurate representation of what Tough Mudder participants will go through this weekend in Attica. ATTICA! Matt McClure has the whole scoop this week, but, essentially, they're required to run through live wires, flaming bales of hay — and, probably worst of all, to jump into freezing cold water at several points. Inspired by Tough Mudder, here are the five most painful events in Indiana this week.
1) Tough Mudder. Not only does the name have maternal vibes — tough mother? — but it's a nine-mile course designed for British Special Forces being run by weekend warriors who probably don't swim through icy lakes as a habit.
2) Naptown Roller Girls season opener. Sure, you're probably not going to get hurt in the audience — unless one of the roller girls flies into the crowd, the victim of an agressive body check — but roller derby remains one of those sports that just looks like it hurts in the best of ways.
3) Cat Fanciers' Association National Championship. Don't get me wrong; I fancy myself a bit of a cat fancier. But between the potential for Best in Show-style hysterics and the allergens floating through the air, this could really be hell on earth for a lot of people. Or heaven.
4) 911 Slugfest: Police v. Fire. There's just a lot of pain at the Fairgrounds this week. The Pepsi Coliseum will open up Tuesday night for boxing matches between Indiana police and firefighters for the benefit of the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
5) 23rd annual Warren Holiday Treefest. We all know what trees are capable of...