Democrats, rest assured. Based on the events of the past few weeks, I can say with near certainty that President Obama will win next year's election, probably in a landslide.
The kerfuffle between Republicans in Congress and the president over the budget has tipped the scales definitively. That doesn't mean you should stay home on Election Day, but it does mean the president's master plan to help the people while making conservatives look foolish is working perfectly.
The Republicans, you see, are operating on the theory that cutting essential government services to maintain lower tax rates for the rich is popular with average people who aren't rich, but hope to get there someday.
This works well for the small percentage of people making more than $250,000 a year but doesn't help anyone making less. Thirty years of reducing taxes on the rich has thoroughly disproven former president Ronald Reagan's trickle-down theory. The gap between the richest and poorest among us has widened.
And every time Donald Trump or some other right-wing wacko raises the "issue" of the president's place of birth, it only helps Obama. The president has done an excellent job of drawing the attention of the lunatics away from real issues onto the nonexistent issue of whether he was born in Honolulu or Kenya.
My guess is that he'll wait until September or October of next year to release his birth certificate — watching Trump and other birthers make fools of themselves is just too much fun. Why end the excitement now?
With less than 18 months before the presidential election, there's another problem facing Republicans. Just who are they going to run against Obama? So far, the field includes Trump, an egomaniac reality show star; Sarah Palin, another egomaniac reality show star, nutty as a fruitcake; former Utah governor Jon Huntsman, an honest and intelligent man who stands no chance whatsoever of getting nominated; and Mitch Daniels.
Let's take a look at our governor's accomplishments. He's done an admirable job of being a yes-man to former presidents Reagan and George W. Bush. He was the budget director who helped turn the nation's biggest surplus, left behind by President Clinton, into its biggest deficit ever.
He's been remarkably adept at getting himself high-paying jobs in the private sector. But as governor, he's spent much of his time watching jobs evaporate in the state.
He's also done a heckuva job pawning off crucial state assets to private companies on 99-year leases. And, yes, he's shown very little ability in getting Republicans and Democrats at the statehouse to even show up for work, let alone pass needed legislation.
Instead of worrying about job creation, education and taxes, Republicans have chosen to address the critical problems of homosexuality (they're against it), carrying guns in public places (they're for it) and making sure plenty of teachers get laid off so the next generation is even dumber than the past few have been.
As for the other rumored contenders, Mike Huckabee is likable enough but lacks gravitas. Mitt Romney is obsessed with renouncing everything in which he once believed.
The Tea Party, with its Stalin-esque insistence on ideological purity, has done the rest of us a great service. Since the only candidates capable of being nominated will, by definition, be hardcore conservatives who are suspicious of civil rights, vehemently against programs that help lift people out of poverty and adamantly for reverse Robin-Hood economics, the president should sail easily to reelection.
All Obama has to do is continue to keep his promises to fight for the common man, to conduct our foreign policy in an ethical manner and to keep nudging the economy in the right direction.
The great thing about all this is that the president won't even have to campaign much. Let Trump or Palin or Mitch outline their radical agendas to the people and they'll defeat themselves.
We once again have a president who's honest, keeps his promises and never forgets the fact that he, like many of us, lived in poverty before lifting himself up through hard work and dedication.
The people of this country, or at least the nonwhite people of this country, along with 40 percent of Caucasians, already know this. There's no way he can lose — and thankfully, the rest of us will continue to win as long as he's in office.