RoboBlog: Rogue, defined




I'd appreciate it if Sarah Palin either spent some of her wardrobe money on a dictionary, or got bludgeoned over the head with one.

The publisher, at the very least, should have taken some time to explain to her what the word "rogue" actually means. This is taken directly from Encarta Dictionary, so check your "liberal bias" accusations at the door.

Rogue [rohg] (noun):

1. somebody dishonest- an unscrupulous or dishonest person, especially somebody who is also likable.
2. somebody mischievous- a mischievously playful person, especially a naughty child.
3. dangerous solitary animal- a vicious or uncontrolled animal that lives apart from the rest of its herd or group.

The word also comes in an equally applicable verb form.

7. to cheat.
8. to uproot or destroy

I watched her stand-up routine on Leno, hoping to get some material to lampoon. The trouble is that it hurt too much to watch. It wasn't just bad— it was painfully bad, and insulting to actual comedians. It takes an impossible amount of hubris for someone with no comedic background to think they can step onto a stage and do what some people spend their entire lives trying to accomplish.

Her jokes, much like her abstract political message, were vague and high-handed: something about the White House reversing its health care policy, the approval rating of Congress being low (Congress has an approval rating?), and playing Tina Fey in a Vegas show. Her best joke is someone else’s, and it’s a couple years old.

She inexplicably still holds a lot of clout among certain conservatives, if for no other reason than her propensity for pissing off liberals. The key to success on talk radio, morning talk shows or Fox News in this country seems to be rooted in a media personality’s ability to provide hotly debated sound bites. Sarah and her ilk fight dirty; they ignore the big stuff and then sucker smart people into debates about flag burning and death panels—and the people who listen to her just wait to find out which of her comments smart people are the most pissed off about, and then decide to agree with it (i.e. her Facebook post on Global Warming. 14, 264 people “like that”).

Her charisma is manufactured. You can’t make a living as a comedian if you go on every show swinging from your heels at Whiffle balls lobbed right over the plate, with a wink and a nudge. Eventually, you get exposed and it all catches up with you. Although, she somehow manages to keep dodging death; she is impossible to kill, like the giant flaming tarantula at the end of “Arachnophobia.” She keeps getting shot and left for dead, then just as everyone starts to walk away to let her die in peace, she has to raise her middle finger and let out a gurgling “$%&#@ You!” and make another goddam moose joke.

Now she stands for the Tea Party. At last, a political party with enough ambiguity and misdirected angst to satisfy her hearty appetite for nothingness. Her price tag to rally her supporters in a crusade against over-spending? $100,000.

I got mostly B’s and C’s in History through elementary school, but I don’t remember scalpers and six figure contacts being involved in the Boston Tea Party. I guess you shouldn’t expect much more out of someone who titles their autobiography "An Unscrupulous and Dishonest Person."


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